Nobody Gets Out Alive. Do You!

Not one of us will get out of here alive so DO YOU!!!

Write what you know. Feel what you write.

Be your authentic self, embrace courage and risk not blending in. Find your individual voice and shout it from the rooftops.

Shall I keep going? After all, there are so many more where they came from!

The truth is, one of the hardest things you can ever do is write from your heart.

As a reader, I have lived a thousand different lives. I have loved, laughed and cried. Within the pages of a good book, I have experienced every possible emotion and then some, but guess what - as a writer - true fear appears the moment that I sit down and try to put something on paper. Thats when I begin to realise just how vulnerable writing my truth can make me. I have always loved to write, and as the people I love will attest to - I have always had a lot to say! You don't get to your mid 40's without developing an opinion on many things, and one thing I have learnt is that whilst those opinions are not always welcomed with open arms, they are generally respected.

We are all entitled to our opinions on life as we perceive it, and in my forty something years as a resident of this beautiful planet, I have absorbed a modicum of wisdom that I believe is relevant to us all.

One thing I have learnt, and probably one of the hardest lessons for me, is to be unapologetically myself. I am by no means an expert, but trust me when I tell you this - true authenticity is essential to a happy life. Not one of us will get out of here alive. Death is a prerequisite, but in reality, isn't that what makes life so special?

So many of us fear being who we are because we worry that we won't fit in. We worry that what makes us unique is exactly what will drive people away.

Lets be honest though - if you being unapologetically you is enough to push people away, then are these folks really your 'tribe?' Are they going to allow you the life you want to live or are you going to spend your precious days fighting against your instincts so that you can blend in? Will you lay on your death bed, your heart heavy with regret because you didn't 'DO YOU'?

I have to be honest - this is fast becoming one of my favourite phrases.

As a little bit of a wordsmith, its really easy to overcompensate and use way more words than necessary to express what is in essence, a universal truth and can be said with just two simple words.

DO YOU!

Of course, the question then becomes, do you know you? If I was to sit you down and say to you, who are you - could you tell me?

Its a question I am asking myself more and more as I get older and in reality, its damn hard to answer. Maybe its an age thing, or maybe I was just unfashionably late to the party!

I don't know but in reality, that is part of my journey and the question was mine to embrace when I was ready to.

Age thing or not, I can absolutely confirm, the confidence to allow yourself to be who you are is definitely something that comes to you as you get older. There is something about hitting your late 30's that changes your whole outlook on your life.

I began to realise that everything I thought was important actually wasn't, and that many of the things I hadn't considered important really needed to become central to who I was becoming. Life is a myriad of experiences, some good, some bad, but all of them relevant. I began to learn that every experience played a part in who I wanted to be and I could use it to my advantage or I could let it it negatively impact me. Unfortunately, that is something I think I will still be trying to grasp right up until the day I die.

Choice is the only constant in life, and every choice we make is on us - even the ones we don't make. Not making or refusing to make a choice is in fact, still a choice!

Read that statement again. Let it sink in.

Every choice we make is on us - even the choices we choose not to make.

That is a sobering thought, but trust me, when you begin to get your head around it, your whole outlook on life changes. It requires immense courage to accept that you live how you choose to live, and being angry at external things doesn't change anything.

All it does is cloud your ability to make the changes you need to live the life you want.

We are all so set on the destination, especially in todays world of instant gratification, that we have almost lost the ability to embrace the journey.

The journey is what makes us who we are. Its what teaches us about what we really want, and it gives us the tools to become the best versions of ourselves.

In my mind, the journey is the most important part of life because when done right, it encourages immense growth. I guarantee you, your destination will regularly change because every step forward forces small changes in what is important, and that will always force deviations to your original route. If it doesn't, then I suspect you may be missing out on some amazing things. Your journey should encourage you to embrace new ways of thinking, of doing and of being, and change your perspective not only on the big things, but on the little things. We all take those little things for granted and its not until they are gone that we realise just how important they are. For me, its things like seeing a smile on my son's face or getting a hug before he goes to bed. Its a steaming cup of hot coffee on a morning, or the sun on my face when I step out the door to go to work. Its being able to walk into a gallery and devour every aspect of the creativity that I am surrounded by, or switch on some music and feel the melodies pulsating through into the depths of my soul. Its the feel of wet sand or grass underfoot, connecting me to mother nature and calming my energies, allowing me to relax and 'just be' in the moment. Hippy dippy I know, but actually, just being is a skill we seem to have lost, and its so incredibly important to our mental health.

My little things aren't money or possessions or status.

They are all free, and that for me is the most exciting thing about my personal journey.

What is truly important should not cost you. You just have to understand what feeds your soul and throw every ounce of your being into embracing it. The rest of it is just white noise and will only distract you from what truly matters.

The big things, well thats a whole different kettle of fish!

For me, its my hopes and dreams and the direction I want my life to take.

My principles, my morals and the expectations I have not just of myself, but of the people around me. The behaviours I expect to see and want to emulate, and the legacy that I want to leave when my time comes to move on to whatever comes after this.

These are the things that terrify me almost into staying where I'm comfortable, but lets be honest, comfort is a double edged sword.

Whilst its easier, less painful, and requires little work, its filled with regret for everything you did not achieve because fear stopped you. In twenty years from now, I won't regret the things I did, only the things I chose not to do.

How long has a blog/page been in planning now?

In all honesty, its longer than I care to admit, but after a couple of years of stepping on and then stepping back off, 6 months of writing a book and 3 months of writing articles for work, I have finally bitten the bullet and sat down to make a start. This page is my journey, my experiences and my musings as a 40 something. I don't pretend to know it all, but I do know that life is always going to be what you make it.

You have to grab it by the balls and refuse to let go because in all honesty, what scares me more than not doing the things I want to, is lying on my death bed regretting the fact that I didn't try.

Go hard or go home.

Until next time..........

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