Embrace Your Mind - Be Kind.....

So, for those of you who are not aware, May 13th to May 19th is Mental Health Awareness Week.

Mental health has become such a huge topic over the last 20 something years, and rightly so.

Prior to that, it was very taboo, and for a considerable number of people it still is, but as a nation we have improved exponentionally in the way that we not only handle this exceptionally sensitive subject, but also in the way that we openly talk about it.

For those of you who have been with me since day one, I apologise, (insert laughing face here).

I will not even attempt to justify it. (Also though, a huge thank you for your unwavering support.)

You will have read the handful of blogs I wrote about mental health, and more specifically the one that outlined my experiences since hitting puberty. (God damn hormones!)

That was hard to write, but for me, being open about these things is the only way that I can see for the world to begin to change how it views mental health so its an important thing to talk openly about.

Also, I don't back down from a challenge!

For me, mental health has been a battle for almost my entire life, but its only recently that I have really begun to understand the reason why, and that has allowed me the opportunity to be able to not only speak openly about it, but also to understand and control certain aspects of my life that caused me issues prior to this.

I have gone from hiding in the shadows and hating everything that I was to embracing it and loving it because its what makes me who I am and do you know what, I am bloody awesome - albeit a handful and a half at times!

Between myself, my sister and my oldest son, there are neurodiversities that weren't picked up on.

Don't get me wrong, they never stopped any of us, but maybe having a better understanding of why certain behaviours were in place would have made certain aspects of our lives a little easier as we grew up.

For me, I can pinpoint exact moments where my issues caused me immense problems because I not only didn't understand why I was that way, but I didn't know how to control it. There were no measures in place for when my emotions became too big and for those people around me, it wasn't easy at all.

I could go into hours of hyperfocus to all of a sudden becoming lethargic and unmotivated and I could never pinpoint why.

The thing is, even though having a clearer understanding would have made a difference, it doesn't change the fact that even with certain personality traits that tie you into a certain type of neurodiversity, we are still completely unique and individual in every which way possible.

I have debated this many times and firmly believe that no matter who someone is, putting people into boxes to satisfy the need to categorise them is actually more damaging than allowing them to learn about who they are and what their individuality brings to the table.

Now, for those of you who are lucky enough to know my parents, you will know how much my family loves a debate. Most of the time it finishes with everyone agreeing to disagree, but one thing we all appreciate is the unique perspective that each and every one of us brings to the table.

Today, I had the pleasure of just such a conversation with my dad who is an incredibly intelligent man. Between me and you musers, debating with him absolutely terrifies me. The reasons for this are twofold.

Firstly, he is my dad. He has the uncanny ability to make me feel like a 12 year old with just one look. He doesn't even need to speak. Its almost biblical in its ability to rip away 30 years of experience and leave me quivering like a scared kid waiting to get into trouble! I don't even know if he is aware that he still has that power but I don't think I ever completely grew up in my mind as far as he was concerned.

Secondly, even when I have the evidence to back up my argument, I still find myself questioning it because he is one of the most intelligent people I know. I have a tendancy to get passionate where he is controlled and measured in his approach, and that passion leaves me questioning everything at times!

As my kids like to say, its more about the tism's than anything else and I shouldn't worry but sometimes it does leave me questioning everything that I know in reality is correct!

Anyhoo, I digress!

The reason I mention todays conversation is because for me, I think that what we talked about plays massively into one of the biggest causes of mental health issues in the world today, and if you can't discuss mental health during mental health awareness week, then when can you?

One of the topics of discussion was the worlds need to place people into boxes to allow them to be able to understand who they are. Gender and pronouns, neurodiversity, sexuality, political beliefs... the list is endless.

The thing is, in doing this, we are missing one very important fact. Maybe the most important fact of all and that fact is this -

Every last one of us is completely and utterly unique.

Read that again.

We are unique not only in our physical makeup, but in the way we think and feel. We are unique in the way we process knowledge. The way we live our life. The things that we love. The things that we hate. The choices we make. The people we choose to share our lives with. The things that make us laugh. The things that make us cry.

We are unique in the way that we smile and the way that we open up to others. We are unique in our responses to external and internal stimuli. The way we see the world will be different to every other person that we speak to.

The thing to remember in amongst the worlds need to categorise you is that there will only ever be one you.

Even if you believe in reincarnation, you do not come back as the you that you are now.

This very moment, this very second, there is nobody else on this earth who resembles you.

There is nobody else on this earth who thinks like you and do you know what - that makes you so incredibly special!

Myself and my dad talked for a while about this because there seems to be a desperate need at the moment for people to 'identify' as something and the big question is - why?

Define for me a female. Define for me a male. Those roles are not defined by physicality, personality or anything else.

What is that reality? I know I am female because my gender dictates that and I am lucky enough that I have never felt the need to question that, but I am also so much more than that.

This is only a tiny portion of what makes me who I am and in reality, my gender is the most unimportant part of that!

I am Rebecca.

I am passionate and opinionated. I am argumentative and fight for the things and the people I believe in. I am emotional, creative, artistic, energetic, talkative, loving, open and vivacious.

I can be incredibly difficult and when my control slips away, I struggle to control the huge variations of emotion that I feel.

I am impulsive and adventurous and refuse to let fear stop me most of the time but that also occasionally falls into taking unnecessary risks.

I am intelligent and incredibly confident some days and then other days, the lack of confidence in my abilities is crippling to the point where it stops me from doing the things I know I can.

I feel incredible heights of excitement and energy that drive me forward but alongside that, the lows are debilitating and destructive.

I have the ability to hyperfocus for hours on something and then all of a sudden lose interest to the point where I am unable to pick it up again for weeks at a time.

This is a snippet of me. Nowhere in there is the need to put myself into a box because I am constantly changing and growing and learning and that process is incredibly exciting.

Todays world is inundated with people struggling with their mental health, not just because of their day to day stresses but because there is a degree of expectation that wasn't there before.

They are expected to conform. To fit into a box that keeps everyone happy. To hide the elements of their personality that would remove them from the box people feel they should be in because heaven forbid they embrace who they are and love themselves because who they are is enough.

The thing is - and I want you to listen to this.

You are enough. You always have been.

Yes, we need to understand who we are, and we all have elements of who we are that we need to improve upon, but that understanding should never be defined externally. That definition is an internal thing. We know what we bring to the table, and we know what we need to leave behind.

My first article about my mental health I used the phrase, I'm Rebecca and I have mental health issues.

I am changing that because guess what - I don't.

I am unique, and in that uniqueness is great beauty. My way of seeing the world brings a whole different perspective to the table. My energy and passion gives me the strength to stand up for the people I love even when the world stands against me.

I am learning to love every single element of what makes me who I am because I am beginning to realise that the worlds definition of mental health is limited to a need to categorise.

Embrace who you are. Be kind to yourself. Learn to love every element that makes you you, and this mental health awareness week, open up to other people.

We can only destroy the stigma attached to these things if we open up about them.

Until next time...............