Its All About Perspective....

Well gosh darn it musers, its actually here. 2025 has arrived.

It arrived much more quietly this year than usual. Fireworks events were cancelled across the country. People stayed at home and there was a distinct lack of partying. We all know the weather was a bit pants, and if anyone could confirm the name of the storm that caused a lot of the cancellations that would be great as I have lost track now, but I think the reality was - many of us weren't in the headspace to celebrate.

2024 was one of the hardest years that many of us have experienced in a long time, and in that statement I include the lockdown years, much as we like to forget about them!

For me personally, I have spent the last seven days pretty much in bed. Its been around 15 years since I had the flu. We aren't talking the pretendy, 'I feel a bit shit but can still do stuff' flu either. We are talking the 'knock you off your feet, can't get out of bed without a huge effort, sleeping for 18 hours a day in between coughing up brown goop' kind of flu.

It was the kind that leaves you wondering if you will ever want to do anything other than sleep again.

The kind where even just going to the toilet becomes a feat of resilience and determination that only those who have climbed the summit of Everest could truly appreciate.

I know, very dramatic! I have hit the point where I am sick of myself now, but the light at the end of the tunnel is that I am out of bed and have a degree of energy that I haven't felt for days. This can only mean one thing. Its buggering off! (Happy dancing in my head right now).

Whilst lying in my makeshift coffin of a bed where at one point I actually thought I may not wake up because I had mixed my drugs up, (all legal), I got to thinking about last year and everything that came and went.

Within the people I know, there was nobody who could categorically say that 2024 had been a good year for them. I had given out more hugs to crying friends and hopefully helped to lift their mood just a little than in any other year that I remember.

That got me to thinking about my own year and what 2024 had brought for me, and on first look, it was a doozy.

• My dad had a stroke.

• My grandma passed away.

• My youngest left home leaving me on my own.

• I was back in hospital getting a loop biopsy done.

• I was diagnosed with C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

• I received a cancer referral for a lump that was suspect

• I had a fall that left me in pain and with limited movement in my knee for almost 10 weeks

• Both me and the Mr got the real flu and not the pretendy version during my Christmas break

• The Mr was made redundant 3 days before Christmas

This is the 'off the top of my head' stuff. Its enough to knock anyone completely but actually, as I lay there trying not to cough up my guts whilst also hoping that not wanting to eat meant I would lose all the chocolate digestive weight I had put on through December, (thanks for keeping me supplied Lady Louise), I realised that actually, there were two ways to look at this.

On paper, it looks like an absolutely shit year. Not just from a familial point of view but from a financial and a health point of view.

The reality is, it was something completely different, and you have guessed it. I am going to tell you why.

Lets start with the big man, my dad.

At the beginning of 2024, I got a panicked phonecall from my mum. She broke down and told me that my dad had suffered a stroke and for a moment, my heart stopped.

My dad had always been this source of strength and someone, like my mum, who would never age and would always be there.

The reality immediately hit like a speeding bullet that he was like anyone else - mortal and going to leave us at some point.

Moving from then to today, he made it through realtively unscathed.

We thought we were going to lose him, but we didn't. He is getting better every single day and although he will never get back to where he was before the stroke, he is doing so well.

I didn't lose my dad.

In fact, his stroke changed his outlook on life along with mine and the things I didn't realise I didn't know. It gave me an opportunity to get to know the man who is Nigel and so much more than just a dad, and I would never have recognised the need to to do that without the possibility of losing him.

Then there was my grandma.

Anyone who has lost a grandparent knows just how difficult it is. A relationship with a grandparent is very different to that of a parent and my nanny was no exception. She was an animal lover, a fighter for everything she believed in and someone that you didn't take the mick out of but at one time or another, I think she put everyone of us up.

Her family were her life and she would have died for each and everyone of them.

I had the pleasure of having her in my life for all of my then, 46 years, and sharing every single one of my birthdays with her.

Yes, it was hard losing her but she died at a grand old age. She died peacefully and we were all able to say our goodbyes before she went. It was her time and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have had her around for so long.

Alex Left Home

For those of you who have stuck with me, you all know that this one was the walloper! Your first child goes, its tough, but there is always a little one coming up behind them. When the youngest goes you are all of a sudden left with an empty nest and no idea how to navigate life without them to look after.

We didn't part on the best of terms. He wanted to be independant and didn't want to live with house rules and I wasn't prepared to be dictated to so he made the decision to move in with his grandma.

For three months there was little to no contact and it was extremely difficult.

Between the worry that he was okay and not knowing because he wasn't coming home anymore, there was the regular rejected phone calls and messages which made things really tough.

The thing is, he actually made a very mature decision, and one that I wasn't able to make at the time because I couldn't see through the problems we were having.

Distancing himself allowed both of us to step back, reevaluate and make the changes we needed to have a healthy, happy relationship.

He spent Christmas Day with me and the Mr, and we are getting on like an absolute house on fire.

Loop Biopsy, knee injury, C-PTSD and Cancer Referrals

I'm gonna bring these ones together because nobody needs to overtalk this one! Medically, I think 2024 saw me in and out of hospital more than any other year to date. I am hoping I can leave it in 2024 because I haven't got the energy for another year like that!

The loop biopsy was not the first, and no doubt will not be the last, but what makes this one different is that I had only had my first date with the Mr on the 16th March, and despite the early days, he insisted on coming with me to hospital when I went in May for the biopsy.

It wasn't even a consideration that he wouldn't be there as far as he was concerned, and for me, having someone who was willing to drop everything and be there for me when it was needed was a whole new thing. I had never been in a relationship like that and that changed everything for me.

It was the same in December when I was went to the hospital with a cancer referral.

It all looks good musers so don't worry, but he was there to support me when the reality hit and he never wavered - even to the point of us leaving his friends couples night out early so I could go home when it all got too much for me.

Just a side note as well - the NHS were incredible. From initial examination to hospital appointment and removal of the lump it only took two weeks. They were brilliant!

The knee injury is one in a long list of injuries and as with everything else, I was once again shown how a real man behaves with the woman in his life. And that takes me onto the diagnosis of C-PTSD.

Thats something I will talk about more as time goes on but whilst you might think the diagnosis would knock me for six, it actually changed everything.

Apart from Mr T being the most unbelievably supportive person and beginning to change everything I had believed about relationships, that diagnosis actually came as a relief.

Now I know I am not crazy. I know that my reactions and feelings are explainable, and I know that there are ways of dealing with it that will change my life exponentionally.

That alone is huge and opens up so many possibilities moving forward. The flu however is the flu - what can you do!

And then, 2024's last kick in the balls was my gorgeous man going into work three days before Christmas to find out that the business had ceased production and gone into administration with over 100 people losing their jobs.

This should, like everything else, have completely walloped us but it didn't and as with everything else - it was all about perspective.

You see, the reality is that 2024 was full of blessings hidden within the trials.

• I began to really get to know my parents as individuals rather than as parents

• I met the man I will spend the rest of my life with and learned what it is to be in a healthy, respectful and loving relationship.

• I was able to say goodbye to one of the most amazing women I have known.

• Through several hospital visits and health scares, I realised that I don't have to do it alone and that I can let other people in, and that my friends has been lifechanging.

• My PTSD diagnosis meant that everything I was dealing with was now justified and that there is a way through rather than just living with it.

• My youngest leaving home showed me that I actually did okay as a mum. He is happy, settled, and living his own life independently. I may not have been ready to accept that at the time, but he has proven that he was, and that means I have done something right!

• Mr T losing his job has opened up so many new possibilities for him and shown him just how much support and love he has around him which is amazing. We are lucky in that I work full time so we will be okay. For some of the staff who lost their jobs, I am sure that won't have been the case.

On top of that, I was welcomed with open arms into a whole new family who are absolutely amazing. It feels like I have known them all my whole life.

I was welcomed with open arms into his friendship circle, some of whom he has known since school, and they are such an incredible bunch of people.

I have been able to incorporate the writing and creativity I love into the 9 to 5 which is amazing, and I have been given free rein to do so.

I also finally lost my Blackpool virginity, and what a ride that was!

I could go on and on, but the reality is that 2024 came with highs and lows. It was a tough year for so many, but when you look at it and maybe change the perspective, 2024 was actually a good year.

You see, if you're here with me now then you are still going strong, no matter what it threw at you, and you have another 365 days of new chances to embrace.

I have to be honest musers, there were days I could have crawled under my covers and not come back out again, but you know what, I am grateful for everything it threw at me.

I have grown as a person in more ways than I realised.

After all, there is no growth in a comfortable life, and although the world can throw what it wants at you, you can continue to disregard the negative and thrive. It just all lies in the perspective you choose.

Until next time........